tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10338497595881598562024-03-14T09:07:32.644-07:00Imaginary conversations with real celebritiesA celebrity blog with a differenceJon Anellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00482859536100862653noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033849759588159856.post-23276404623190364402011-05-18T13:00:00.000-07:002011-05-18T13:12:33.565-07:00Lady Gaga and I go shopping<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgStRezBLNdlnUyrVLY4pJEFU9JoAxzJAakJ4TzazGElMYLjUbNegogHVCB81NC9vyK8o4IR01z7krZ2QnkWxeZ2r2irbm2JiZU_9InHMMnhrMKw5T0C3ai9sETNbNPwWKb_Ibq7owVTqqF/s1600/lady+Gaga.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgStRezBLNdlnUyrVLY4pJEFU9JoAxzJAakJ4TzazGElMYLjUbNegogHVCB81NC9vyK8o4IR01z7krZ2QnkWxeZ2r2irbm2JiZU_9InHMMnhrMKw5T0C3ai9sETNbNPwWKb_Ibq7owVTqqF/s320/lady+Gaga.jpg" width="194" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the Popular songstress in her offal outfit</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">For Goodness sake Kurt, give me back my wallet.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Because I was planning on using it to pay for the miscellany of goods we’ve amassed in this trolley. Unless of course you’re planning on paying.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Yeah I thought not.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">That’s hardly makes us even, last time we only needed a pack of bogroll and some chocolate Hobnobs. Not really enough to put a dent in the balance of a movie star is it? Whereas I’ve got to pay for a weeks worth of shopping.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">You say that but I’m not convinced we need all of this. Bread, sure. Eggs, fine. Hell I’m even okay with the Royal Wedding collectors toast rack but Hamster food?... Battlefield Earth on DVD?... tampons?!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">NO Kurt you can’t use them for that, the bleeding stops on its own if you tilt your head back and pinch at the bridge. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">and no you’re not getting a hamster, it’ll only die after a week and you’ll mope around the house and use it as an excuse not to make any movies that year.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Look, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be that harsh. Tell you what, how about we get some pick and mix? I’ll let you choose?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Right well, you do that and I’ll finish the rest of the list.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Kurt.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Wallet.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Thankyou.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">…he really needs to get a job. Right while he’s not looking lets offload some of this crap… *sigh* I don’t have time to put this back on the appropriate aisles… Supermarket Gods forgive me for what I’m about to do.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Argh… Iwasn’thidingtamponsbehindthebakedbeans! Wait, hold on. You don’t work here… lady Gaga! Sorry I didn’t realise it was you. I didn’t recognise you in your moleskin leotard.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Really? Oh my mistake…I thought it was mole.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">No I didn’t realise George Clooney had that much back hair.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">So…er how you doing?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Good good. I’m doing alright thanks. Just doing the weeks shopping and avoiding Kurt Russell.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Yeah he’s in a bad mood again cuz I won’t let him get a hamster.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">That’s exactly what I said. And who’s going to be the one picking up the pieces eh? Me. So what are you doing all the way out here anyway? I thought you were never going to leave Ipswich ever again. Let the tours come to you.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Well I didn’t think it would work to be honest. So why come here? Do they not have Tesco’s in Ipswich?</div><div class="MsoNormal">Shouldn’t you be looking in London or Paris or Milan for that?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Well I suppose it is different.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I always supposed they were made by top couture designers.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">And the meat dress?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Local butcher obviously. So what are you thinking of today?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Erm… yeah that’s interesting but how would you get it to attach to your body and stay on?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">You’ve not thought this through have you.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">And if you get wet it’ll just dissolve and you’ll be standing in the world’s biggest Gaga Latte.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">No I don’t suppose the chances of it raining milk are very high but its still not a great idea. Hey You could use teabags.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Would that be a problem? Do you regularly get accused of that?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I don’t know what that is?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">No seriously. I’ve never heard of teabagging.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Uh-huh</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">What?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Just dangling?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Eugh! That’s disgusting!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">How could anyone get any pleasure out of that?!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">NO! That was a rhetorical question. So… anyway what could you use instead? </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">That could work. I’d go with Edam myself. We could just cover you in it and then stick you under the grill and it would kind of melt onto you. Or we could use that stuff they put in burgers. Plastic cheese.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Yeah. Or maybe mozzarella</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Or Gorganzola.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Yeah. Or maybe even cottage cheese. That could work. It’s kind of malleable as cheeses go. Mmm cottage cheese.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Accused of what?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I’ve not heard of that term either.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Yeah two men..</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Toilets?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Oh so that’s what George Michael was talking about. How do you know so much about all these terms?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Well I'd never heard of them so they can’t be that common.<br />
<br />
I’m not accusing you of anything. I mean what could I possible accuse you… oh.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">No nothing.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Nope absolutely nothing…</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Blusing? me? No. Gosh look at that time eh? I probably ought to go and put these things back in their original shelves and get on with my list before Kurt realises there’s no pick‘n’Mix aisle. Right… er… don’t suppose you have a hamster do you?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Didn’t think so. I would offer you the tampons… but I suspect you weren’t er… born this way.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">…NO. They don’t work like that. You tilt your head back and pinch the bridge.</div>Jon Anellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00482859536100862653noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033849759588159856.post-57552334696208050492010-10-22T10:00:00.000-07:002010-10-22T10:06:59.352-07:00Rihanna and I go and pick up her new bedside cabinet from Ikea<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"></div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglEVR5lmqIz0La4DZdkr0ntwkmr0ukQa9mKtzDTPfeBe_HV7kn06XeMe0gD6lVhLxMcspjVZE1M2TQoivmsk5y2qWRSXRurxoOtMUu0A-aetDmiIXDO_TbiPxWwwYoiHiPHywPJj2BDbNJ/s320/Rihanna_15.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="320" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">doesn't her hair look good</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglEVR5lmqIz0La4DZdkr0ntwkmr0ukQa9mKtzDTPfeBe_HV7kn06XeMe0gD6lVhLxMcspjVZE1M2TQoivmsk5y2qWRSXRurxoOtMUu0A-aetDmiIXDO_TbiPxWwwYoiHiPHywPJj2BDbNJ/s1600/Rihanna_15.jpg" imageanchor="1" linkindex="17" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><span style="font-size: small;">KURT?! KURT! ARE YOU UP YET?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">I’M GOING OUT.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">WITH RHIANNA</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">HECK NO MAN, WERE JUST FRIENDS. I CAN DO MUCH BETTER, I’M NOT DESPERATE.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">THAT MEANS NOTHING AND I THOUGHT WE AGREED NOT TO MENTION THE JUDY DENCH THING… I MEAN IT WASN’T A THING, IT WAS JUST A MISCALCULATION.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">YES OF HOW MUCH CIDER I’D HAD. YOU KNOW IT’S MY ACHILLES HEEL. TWO PINTS OF CIDER AND I’M ANYONE’S</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">…APART FROM RHIANNA’S, VERY TRUE. ANYWAY RIHANNA’S NEW CABINET’S JUST COME IN AT IKEA AND WE’RE GOING TO PICK IT UP AND… Kurt what the hell is that you’re wearing? </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">It’s got a trunk!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">I very much doubt yours is that long! Will you please put some trousers on. For one thing you’ll get a cold and I’m not calling the doctor again.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Yeah, I did question his rap it better technique but last time I had a cough I forgot about Dre and it took me ages to get over it. Oh hey something’s vibrating in my trousers.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">No, no I gave that back to Angelina. It’s my phone. Hello? Oh hey Rihanna? Outside. Okay I’ll be out in a second. See ya. Right she’s outside. I’ll see ya later. Oh can you take my chicken out of the freezer?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">I want to eat it for dinner.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">You realise you’re this close to winning worst flatmate of the year.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Yes I suppose by that logic you’re the best as well. Maybe next year I’ll get a dog and then I’ll have someone to compare you against. Right I’m off. See ya. Oh and do last night’s washing up will ya?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Oh. Damn its cold. Where is she? Is that? What the hell? Rihanna? Yeah hi. Erm… what’s this? </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">I can see it’s a Nissan Micra. What happened to your Ford Transit?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Sting?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">I thought he had a tour bus.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">He let who drive it?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">…He’s only just got out of prison for DUI!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Seriously I don’t care how much he needs a job, I wouldn’t have hired George as my driver. Geez, he wouldn’t have done that back in the Wham days.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Obviously. So you reckon you’ll fit the cabinet in here?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Guess we’ll just have to see then. If not, you’re good with a hacksaw and glue aren’t you?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">No no I’m joking. Please… unlock the door.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Well I can’t help you collect it if I’m out here.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">But its miles away and its freezing out here. I’d get frostbite before I’d walked 50 metres.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Well that would get me a bit warmer but alas I’m not wearing my running shoes.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Alright I promise I won’t make any more allusions to destroying your brand new Ikea furniture.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Thanks. Wow it’s a lot warmer in here. I was wondering why you were wearing a bikini in this weather, now </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">I know… You look…good in a bikini actually.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">No I mean it.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">No I didn’t bring mine.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Because every time you make me wear it all the other guys look at me weirdly. I’m not sure whether they’re going to beat me up or fantasising about me. I’ll just keep my top on for now. Maybe I’ll put it on when there’s no one around. Did you bring the pink one?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Brilliant. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Right, <b><i>the wait is over</i></b> let’s get some tunes on so we can roll the windows down an’ <b><i>run this town</i></b> tonight.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Sorry… I thought it was funny.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Kiera probably would have got it. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Where’s your itrip and I’ll put on some music.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Yeah it is.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">No you chose the tunes last time.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Yeah, but that was ‘cause your choices sucked. I had to jump in.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">They did.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Seriously no one listens to the Killers anymore and Kings of Leon make no sense.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">I mean how can sex be on fire? Sex is an abstract noun. You can’t set fire to an abstract noun. It’s like saying I’m going to shoot this walk in the face.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">I’m just saying my choices were better than yours.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">What do you mean? He’s had a number one hit every decade… apart from this one I guess. And he makes his own wine apparently… I don’t know how that supports my argument though</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Oh come on, No one will admit it but Millennium prayer was a classic! It got to number one so someone must have liked it. I mean me and Sir Roger bought about six thousand copies between us, we thought it was so good.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Well I bought one and he bought five thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine… they were selling them cheap in ASDA.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Yeah I’ve bought your music too… I bought umbrella… well I downloaded it off rapidshare, but… same thing.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Argh! Ow! What’s the matter? Why the emergency stop?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Alright… I</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Look.. we</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Yes… but</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">But the music industry….</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">..brandy snaps…</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">I would have..</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Okay okay… I’m sorry… I’ll never download your music from a disreputable source again. You know… you’re actually quite pretty when you’re angry..</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Argh no… YOU’RE PRETTY ALL THE TIME, YOU’RE PRETTY ALL THE TIME, YOU’RE PRETTY ALL THE TIME…please don’t beat me up... no one would believe me.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">What?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Oh my cowering in fear is funny is it? </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">You wana see me watch Alien, I’ll have you in stitches.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">No no that’s not an offer I’m not flirting… but… Well I guess I… It could be an offer if y’know, if say you wanted to sometime, not that I’m saying you’d want to of course but the offers there… on the table… so to speak.. as they say… er… c’est la vie</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Yeah sorry I’m just talking now for the sake of it now… as you do… when it’s all said and done… at the end of the day… Sooooo you wana come over some time and…</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">What? Why not?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Better than me?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">No obviously you’re not desperate. Hold on what are you saying?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Oh right, yes I see… I didn’t know you and dame Judy spoke.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">It was just a miscalculation, oh never mind. Let’s just forget I said anything. We’re here now so lets just pick up your new cabinet.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Oh bugger.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Its raining.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Did you bring an <b><i>umbrella</i></b>?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">How ironic </span></div>Jon Anellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00482859536100862653noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033849759588159856.post-13394918471454006832010-10-08T09:14:00.000-07:002010-10-13T03:30:56.461-07:00Ryan Reynolds and I go to the gym<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVzBw_tbnxoPiFFvmF3d2qbM0e6PCrQmkiprmyvPx-lV4C3VgBnFgNgCypnRGttXuaG1yEYfcFxNZGtk8_pLMlgP7yNSZunFJlxNqqLpeKZvncbMyWKU5fA0dOolWcb30Y3ymoNmYRTHF3/s320/ryan_reynolds_97.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="255" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is Ryan... isnt he pretty.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVzBw_tbnxoPiFFvmF3d2qbM0e6PCrQmkiprmyvPx-lV4C3VgBnFgNgCypnRGttXuaG1yEYfcFxNZGtk8_pLMlgP7yNSZunFJlxNqqLpeKZvncbMyWKU5fA0dOolWcb30Y3ymoNmYRTHF3/s1600/ryan_reynolds_97.jpg" imageanchor="1" linkindex="17" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a>Geez! Seriously Ryan. Who puts a gym on the 8<sup>th</sup> floor? And why did we choose to go on the one day when they’re refurbishing the lifts.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You knew?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Well I suppose so. I guess that means there’ll be more free lockers, no more leaving my clothes on the bench and hoping no one nicks em. I usually put my pants on top as an extra deterrant.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Oh yeah, I always change them... no one wants sweaty pants whilst you’re on the treadmill. Mind you with all these stairs they’re going to be soaked before we even get there.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Yeah sure I’ll hold it a sec.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Argh, bloody hell Ryan, what’s in this?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">What? You know they supply weights in there right?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Well everything’s metric nowadays.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Yeah but it’s still the same ruddy weight you know!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Ah finally, I can see the top. my legs feel like they've been borrowed by a breakdancer for the day. We’re just working the upper body today right?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Look I don't get to go to the gym very often so I’m entitled to be knackered.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
Well it’s all fine and dandy for you Mr movie star, you have a gym membership to get you used to this sort of thing and a masseuse to relax you when its over and a nutritionist to stop you getting fat.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">...what does he do?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">No I think you're thinking of a personal trainer...</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">No no they cast out demons, it’s very different to anything you do in a gym.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I'm pretty sure you mean a personal trainer. wow you were right, it really is quiet. even the changing room is quiet.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Yeah I know what you mean. I'm always afraid other guys will think I'm vain as well, but with no one here we can use the mirror to our hearts content.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Oh obviously. No one ever wants to see the before picture. Let’s get changed with our backs to it for now.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Ryan, whoa man! You’re not supposed to get that naked until you hit the showers. Stop showing off. No one wants to see that.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Well yes... I suppose 8.5 out of 10 of Cosmo readers would disagree... and axm readers I suppose.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Really?.. them too? Its changed a lot since I was a kid, I always thought he was just desperate for cow pie.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Come on, what shall we hit first? Cross trainer? or weights?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Ah but you see I really can't stand running. I hate it with a Passion.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">All right then. But I'm just sticking it on a slow speed and walking my way to fitness.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Look you can go for the one minute mile if you want but my treadmill stays firmly at 3 hour yard.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">seriously how do you get time to get this fit. I always figured you'd be <i><b>Buried</b></i> in work...gettit?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">no no its a joke... <b><i>Buried</i></b> at work!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">sigh... Keira would have got it.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Hey Ryan what are you doing? no no I said I wanted to stay at a steady pace.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
aah, what do you mean? pant... what's this got to do with… aaah… your being busy... no no </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that's too fast.... whoa! argh! ow</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">yes yes I get it...very funny, rushed off your feet ha ha. I would be laughing hysterically if I weren't in so much pain.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Alright but no more bad jokes that result in my being incapacitated by gym equipment.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I must warn you I can't really lift much though. I struggle with a weeks worth of Asda carrier bags.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Oh no, no shopping, just the bags.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Well I can't drive and I don't have a wife so that isn't really an option for me.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Really?... well how does she get the shopping home?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Seriously? No wonder you two get into so many superhero movies. I'm beginning to suspect you may actually be superhuman.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">what? don't look at me like that. I was joking... oh shit you actually do have superpowers don't you?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">sorry, I'll keep it down. go on, lift this... with one hand.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">No freakin way! that must've been like 70 stone.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">No… I think John candy weighed more, that's more john Goodman. God rest their souls.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Well he may not be, but his career was with the Flintstones.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Ryan...um... can I touch you? I mean, not in a weird way, it’s just that I've never touched a real life superhuman before.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Oh come on its not like I can steal your powers by touching you, that only happens in comic books and movies based on comic books.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Wow its so hard and smooth and ... cold.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Dude... your arms made of metal</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Really? Everyone?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">What’s keanu made of?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I kind of figured. Evergreen or deciduous?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I see. Well this explains why everyone in Hollywood has perfect abs.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Oh really. Well I never knew you could do that with plasticine.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So what's the point of coming to the gym then?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Really, they hire you? Well I suppose it does give everyone something to aim for.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So going to the gym actually does nothing? Wow I didnt thinks gyms were smart enough to pull off a global conspiracy. Who knew?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Come on then. Let’s stop wasting our time. Let’s go back to the changing room and go check you out in the mirror.</div>Jon Anellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00482859536100862653noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033849759588159856.post-76608115734038384602010-09-11T13:42:00.001-07:002010-09-11T14:00:00.167-07:00Anthony Hopkins comes for dinner<span xmlns=""></span><br />
<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmQlROWbTNEA6oqikyIH7pshaZR5l8ZfDAhA-R_olc-1Qb8fALRsKybDfaX5mMPlYC1q19S7zqKEj0aF4dWSB2GObNlsoN3aKmExoERYtlbptUb-9wJUQoqT1V86SPLYIondjaiYQ0doAX/s1600/anthony_hopkins_awarded_oscar.jpg" imageanchor="1" linkindex="17" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmQlROWbTNEA6oqikyIH7pshaZR5l8ZfDAhA-R_olc-1Qb8fALRsKybDfaX5mMPlYC1q19S7zqKEj0aF4dWSB2GObNlsoN3aKmExoERYtlbptUb-9wJUQoqT1V86SPLYIondjaiYQ0doAX/s320/anthony_hopkins_awarded_oscar.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Anthony eats a little gold man</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Right, here we go. Candles, check. Best china, check. Chianti and glasses, check. Posh cloth napkins, check. Sexy music, check... Wait, sexy music? Oh balls, this isn't my Anthony Hopkins dinner list, this is my Dame Judy Dench dinner list. Where's my Anthony Hopkins dinner list? Oi Mr Russell? Have you seen my Anthony Hopkins dinner list?</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns=""><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">What do you mean by used it?<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Oh Seriously Kurt! Just tell me next time we're running out. Don't "improvise" with my stuff.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">No i don't want it back now. A normal person would have flushed it afterwards.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Yes well if Depp jumped off a cliff would you follow him?<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Why does that not surprise me? Oh hey did you pay the phone bill?<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">A hundred and thirty.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Well get it converted to pounds, I don't want to get cut off...Dude what are you doing in your dressing gown? I thought you were going over to Jonny's<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Oh really? Lucky guy, she's hot... does Jude know?<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Well that could get awkward. Anyway that's not the point, You know I've got Anthony Hopkins coming over tonight don't you.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">No you will not. You behaved terribly when we had JayZ over. You knew about his weak bladder and yet you still goaded him into a drinking contest.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Well you're not the one who had to mop it up are you!? Okay just stay in your room and watch a dvd or something.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Then take a packet of crisps up with you. Just don't muck this up, I don't want to upset him... You know in case he gets...er peckish<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Now what the hell was on that list? Erm... cheese platter? Yeah I'm sure he likes cheese. Everyone likes cheese, oh hell ,what if he doesn't? No, no, don't be silly he'll love cheese. He'll love the soup, he'll love the tenderloin, he'll love the mini-milks. Everything will be fine.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">ARRGH! That'll be him... no, no, keep calm. Nothing is going to spoil this... NO KURT I'VE GOT THE... door *sigh* Never mind. Hello Mr Hopkins. How are you this evening?<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Great. Kurt for goodness sakes go and put some clothes on, or boxers at least would be a start. I'm sorry Mr Hopkins he's not been the same since he heard about the remake.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Haha, yes well I suppose everyone is trying to escape New York nowadays.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Oh no, that's very nice of you but I've already got us some Chianti.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">4 quid from Aldi<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">wow...never mind. We'll drink yours then. I didn't know Cliff Richard made wine.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Really, well next time I'm in Spain I'll have to pop in. So if you want to take a seat I'll bring in the starter. You do like soup don't you?<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">I don't know. Kurt pulls all the labels off and make's eyepatches out of them. I think its chicken or it might be mushroom. It's a bit of a gamble, especially when you have someone who's allergic. I mean last week we had to take JayZ to A&E.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Yeah, puffed up like a melon. Anyway you're not allergic are ya?<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Great. Dig in. Do you want any pepper or salt?<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Umm... it's definitely chicken. I'm not really a fan of mushrooms to be honest so I'm quite relieved. So how are you Anthony? It's been a while since we last met.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">I know, well we have our own washer/dryer now so I don't have to go there anymore. Are you still going?<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Really, that's extortionate! I'd never pay that much for powder. Can't you take your own?<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Well I suppose that's true but you could pick some up when you go home. You'd need to get something to wear whilst they wash wouldn't you? <br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Really? They don't mind that? Someone might report you to the police.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Well I suppose if everyone's doing it.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Wow you polished that off quick. Gotta keep eating to keep the urges under control eh?<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Nevermind... it was nothing. You'll enjoy the next course its Cava beans and tenderloin.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">No not beef<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Hah hah or pork<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Let's just say it'll keep the urges at bay for a while.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">No not chicken... I dont think they have loins to begin with.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Or lamb... come on I know you know, you just don't want to say it<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">...no its not quail.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">I'll give you a clue it's not a bird... or cattle.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">No I think venison would count as cattle.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Go on just say it... its fine, we've all seen the film.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">What do you mean 'not again'?<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Yeah that's it...but don't worry he was already dead. Anaphylactic shock... <br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Kurt works part time in a morgue.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">...But I thought that you liked...<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">I'm sorry Ant...<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">But the films.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Kurt said that one of the reasons you did them was to indulge your urges... look I'm sorry.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Just calm down and have some cheese.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">But I thought everyone liked cheese. Oh bollocks.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">No please Anthony come back...Damn. Well at least he didn't eat me. Hmm, seems a shame to let all this go to waste <br />
</span></div><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">Mmm wow the cava beans really bring out the flavour</span><br />
</span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""></span>Jon Anellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00482859536100862653noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033849759588159856.post-32537242905566644782010-08-24T10:36:00.001-07:002010-10-22T10:09:04.429-07:00Sir Roger Moore and I go shoe shopping<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwH-7OefKk_BPj8B7zbj9EBnAI6p_0YrxIJerM_PlaEuxigZJkN1Qg4QiAO6JNhyphenhyphenDZLgZa_sr_cPkf_fJxzKzvqYy-v4D1cj5G48hBoeJtsuxDuysGzAzrz87l3U-VCRaX2ufRaaOMwoxl/s1600/roger+moore.jpg" imageanchor="1" linkindex="17" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwH-7OefKk_BPj8B7zbj9EBnAI6p_0YrxIJerM_PlaEuxigZJkN1Qg4QiAO6JNhyphenhyphenDZLgZa_sr_cPkf_fJxzKzvqYy-v4D1cj5G48hBoeJtsuxDuysGzAzrz87l3U-VCRaX2ufRaaOMwoxl/s320/roger+moore.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sir Roger Moore with a nice tan</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns=""><i>(If you don't know who Roger Moore is I suggest wikipediaing him first or you'll only understand about 36% of the following transcript)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns=""><i><br />
</i></span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Come on Sir Roger Moore....where are you? Ten minutes late. Bond as never late, can you imagine "I'm here to stop you taking over the world Blofelt... what's that? You've already done it? Bollocks If only i'd run a bit faster, or not done up my shoelaces, Or just held it in til I got here". Seriously, where are you Sir Roger Moore? Oh is that? Hey, Sir Roger Moore!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns=""><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">I thought you weren't going to come! You should've given me a call.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Really? Let me see. Ah I can see what's wrong with it.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Well it turns out your phone is in fact a block of wood with numbers drawn on it.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Well of course it's cheaper, it doesn't bloody work.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Yes but he was in the room with you wasn't he?<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">I very much doubt it sends texts.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Yes but that would require you to have a pencil on you at all times and an excellent throwing arm.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Anyway why are you so late?<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Bus? I thought you drove.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Well I suppose if you're old enough to get one you may as well use it.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">No I don't have a bus pass, I'm 25.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Look it's just receding alright. It'll stop in a year or two... I'm sure. Anyway where do you want to go?<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Really? Don't you want to try somewhere like Clarks or something?<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">No, fine. Primark it is. Their shoe selection is somewhat limited though. <br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">So can I call you Roger now? or are you going to insist I keep calling you Sir Roger Moore?<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">I suppose I could but You realise no one watches the Saint anymore don't you?<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Alright, alright... It'll probably get remade at some point nowadays I guess.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">What really?<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Val Kilmer? But he's nothing like you. I mean he's not even English?<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Oh right, yeah obviously they couldn't set a popular British TV series in England that would alienate all the American fans of the original. Well here's Primark.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Hey, Sir Roge... I mean Simon Templar, where are you going? The entrance is over here.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Unless they've moved their entire shoe department to the bins round the back I don't think you're going to find what you're after. Although given the general quality of their footwear I probably wouldn't be surprised if they had.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Okay but if my shoes get wrecked I'm going <i>inside</i> to get new ones. Hup... Eugh, that's disgusting, careful not to tread in that.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">I know but the colours clash and it has tassels. No wonder it's in here. Now can we hurry up, the tramps are beginning to stare.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Well I never think any of them ever expected to see James Bond rooting through the bins behind primark.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">...Yes... or Simon Templar... What's that you've got there?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns=""><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Yes I can see it's a small cardboard box but what's it for?<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">What? But it's made of cardboard! What happens if it rains? Your feet will get soaked!<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">I suppose you could do that but it would seem a bit ironic.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Well you'd have to change them when they wore through and I'd say putting bin liners in the bin is somewhat ironic.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">...I thought it was funny.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Yeah I guess. Well at least with cardboard shoes you can be sure that they weren't made by some poor sweatshop kid in Kathmandu.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Er... No I don't know where the cardboard was made. Seriously though, are you really planning on using those as shoes. I mean you'll look ridiculous.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Well they're obviously going to be cheaper because they're shite. Surely you can afford shoes. I mean you're Roger Moore!<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Sorry... Simon Templar.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">But you've got loads of money.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">What are you saving up for?<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Really, Well loads of celebrities go for it nowadays. But you don't look that bad, surely a nip-tuck here and there can't be that expensive.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Reconstructive? Who do you want to look like?<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">...I should have guessed. But You were Simon Templar... He was a </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">fictional character played by you.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Yes but Val Kilmer played him after you.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Yeah! You were the original. Simon Templar looked identical to you!<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">YES!<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">Shall we go to Clarks then?<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;" xmlns="">...Leave the boxes.</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;" xmlns=""></span></div>Jon Anellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00482859536100862653noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033849759588159856.post-49351825428566550872010-08-11T10:43:00.000-07:002010-10-22T10:07:47.329-07:00Keira Knightley pops over<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy5jgAqZI1Oxrap-xojmkDoxe6CNZ-guhZ_ZB0TkMdaaxPD3v22hI-Y2A7JIAcgVfdTn0XzEqRVwmEEV4SwcIYlzCYW9e-K0A-AfoVoqoPbIlc6-4123Mn5s3Hnyr5ta8ty39EsvwWDZmL/s1600/Keira-Knightley-2.JPG" imageanchor="1" linkindex="17" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy5jgAqZI1Oxrap-xojmkDoxe6CNZ-guhZ_ZB0TkMdaaxPD3v22hI-Y2A7JIAcgVfdTn0XzEqRVwmEEV4SwcIYlzCYW9e-K0A-AfoVoqoPbIlc6-4123Mn5s3Hnyr5ta8ty39EsvwWDZmL/s320/Keira-Knightley-2.JPG" width="320" /></a></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">This is a visual aid of Keira Knightley</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">HI Keira.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Sure come on in and dry off.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;"> Heh. I’ll Bet it wasnt like this when you were filming in the Carribean eh?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Swindon? I honestly thought it was filmed on location<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Nah just stick your brolly on the shoe rack... Actually you can put it in the pair of wellies there.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Really? Aren’t they waterproof on the inside too? Aaah it’ll be alright, they’re my flatmates anyway. So do you want a cup of coffee? I mean I don’t really drink the stuff but I’ll make you one if you want. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">No I do like it. It just makes me ill.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Well I don’t really want to say.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">No.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Seriously Keira I don’t want...<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">It makes me shit alright. I have IBS and coffee makes me shit... stop it, It’s not funny.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Well I suppose, when you put it like that it is I guess hah. So </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">you want a coffee?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Kenco Rapport.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">No. That’s all I’ve got I’m afraid. Take a seat I’ll be back in a minute with your coffee. Maybe even a biscuit. Actually probably not a biscuit. Actually definitely no biscuit.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Oh I just don’t have any.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">No it’s not an IBS thing I just ate them all. Be right back.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">SO DID YOU BRING SOME DVDS TO WATCH?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">COOL, WHAT DID YOU BRING?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Bollocks<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">OH NO I DIDNT SAY ANYTHING, YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE JONNY AND ORLANDO. AND THAT GUY WHO WAS IN THE OFFICE IS PRETTY FUNNY.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">YEAH THAT’S HIS NAME, ITS JUST THAT er... I’M NOT REALLY IN THE MOOD FOR A PIRATE FILM.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">YEAH I GUESS YOU’LL HAVE TO PUT THOSE TWO IN THE NO PILE AS WELL THEN. DO YOU TAKE MILK AND SUGAR?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">SERIOUSLY? YOU WONT KEEP YOUR TEETH LOOKING LIKE THAT IF YOU CARRY ON LIKE THAT<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">REALLY? CAN I HAVE A LOOK AT THEM? Here you go, careful its hot. Wow, you’d think they were real even from here.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">But don’t they die if you take the tusks out?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Oh right. I’ve never heard of a sustainable herd before but if AL Gore says its okay then it must be. So what else did you bring?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Ah right, yeah, no we could watch that I suppose... but er... I’ve already seen it.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">No no I thought it was... good. I thought they handled the ATONEal shifts quite well.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Atone-al? Atonement? Tonal? Come on I’ve been working on that one all day.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Hah! Yeah I suppose so.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">No no I thought it was definitely a...film of ...filmic proportions and you were definitely... er acting. There was definitely some acting from you there... in that film. Yeah, you and all the actors... acting.. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Well no... but I’m sure the academy had their reasons.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="line-height: 115%;">My</span></i></span><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;"> favourite? well my favourite bit was er...the bit where er... the bee... stung Ian McKellen?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Really? Wasn’t he? I’m pretty sure he was.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">No, I think you’ll find he was. I don’t know what film you’re thinking of but he was definitely there.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Well you were off your face on Prozac most of the shoot though weren’t you<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Dont blame me, It’s not my fault he’s dead.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Oh come on, how was I to know. What sane person puts the slug pellets next to the Iams<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Oh please don’t, no I’m sorry... Wait don’t use the cushion, have a tissue. Come one cheer up.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Look I said I was sorry. What can I do to cheer you up? <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">...alright... we’ll watch it. If that’ll make it up to you I guess we’ll do that then. Right, where’s the remote? Oh for goodness sake. He’s always leaving his dvd’s in the player. Okay here we..<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Hey what are you grinning about?...oh I see, very clever. That’s hilarious of you, It’s a pity the academy didn’t see that performance eh? Now quit hogging all the cushions and pass me one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>Jon Anellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00482859536100862653noreply@blogger.com0