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| doesn't her hair look good |
I’M GOING OUT.
WITH RHIANNA
HECK NO MAN, WERE JUST FRIENDS. I CAN DO MUCH BETTER, I’M NOT DESPERATE.
THAT MEANS NOTHING AND I THOUGHT WE AGREED NOT TO MENTION THE JUDY DENCH THING… I MEAN IT WASN’T A THING, IT WAS JUST A MISCALCULATION.
YES OF HOW MUCH CIDER I’D HAD. YOU KNOW IT’S MY ACHILLES HEEL. TWO PINTS OF CIDER AND I’M ANYONE’S
…APART FROM RHIANNA’S, VERY TRUE. ANYWAY RIHANNA’S NEW CABINET’S JUST COME IN AT IKEA AND WE’RE GOING TO PICK IT UP AND… Kurt what the hell is that you’re wearing?
It’s got a trunk!
I very much doubt yours is that long! Will you please put some trousers on. For one thing you’ll get a cold and I’m not calling the doctor again.
Yeah, I did question his rap it better technique but last time I had a cough I forgot about Dre and it took me ages to get over it. Oh hey something’s vibrating in my trousers.
No, no I gave that back to Angelina. It’s my phone. Hello? Oh hey Rihanna? Outside. Okay I’ll be out in a second. See ya. Right she’s outside. I’ll see ya later. Oh can you take my chicken out of the freezer?
I want to eat it for dinner.
You realise you’re this close to winning worst flatmate of the year.
Yes I suppose by that logic you’re the best as well. Maybe next year I’ll get a dog and then I’ll have someone to compare you against. Right I’m off. See ya. Oh and do last night’s washing up will ya?
Oh. Damn its cold. Where is she? Is that? What the hell? Rihanna? Yeah hi. Erm… what’s this?
I can see it’s a Nissan Micra. What happened to your Ford Transit?
Sting?
I thought he had a tour bus.
He let who drive it?
…He’s only just got out of prison for DUI!
Seriously I don’t care how much he needs a job, I wouldn’t have hired George as my driver. Geez, he wouldn’t have done that back in the Wham days.
Obviously. So you reckon you’ll fit the cabinet in here?
Guess we’ll just have to see then. If not, you’re good with a hacksaw and glue aren’t you?
No no I’m joking. Please… unlock the door.
Well I can’t help you collect it if I’m out here.
But its miles away and its freezing out here. I’d get frostbite before I’d walked 50 metres.
Well that would get me a bit warmer but alas I’m not wearing my running shoes.
Alright I promise I won’t make any more allusions to destroying your brand new Ikea furniture.
Thanks. Wow it’s a lot warmer in here. I was wondering why you were wearing a bikini in this weather, now
I know… You look…good in a bikini actually.
No I mean it.
No I didn’t bring mine.
Because every time you make me wear it all the other guys look at me weirdly. I’m not sure whether they’re going to beat me up or fantasising about me. I’ll just keep my top on for now. Maybe I’ll put it on when there’s no one around. Did you bring the pink one?
Brilliant.
Right, the wait is over let’s get some tunes on so we can roll the windows down an’ run this town tonight.
Sorry… I thought it was funny.
Kiera probably would have got it.
Where’s your itrip and I’ll put on some music.
Yeah it is.
No you chose the tunes last time.
Yeah, but that was ‘cause your choices sucked. I had to jump in.
They did.
Seriously no one listens to the Killers anymore and Kings of Leon make no sense.
I mean how can sex be on fire? Sex is an abstract noun. You can’t set fire to an abstract noun. It’s like saying I’m going to shoot this walk in the face.
I’m just saying my choices were better than yours.
What do you mean? He’s had a number one hit every decade… apart from this one I guess. And he makes his own wine apparently… I don’t know how that supports my argument though
Oh come on, No one will admit it but Millennium prayer was a classic! It got to number one so someone must have liked it. I mean me and Sir Roger bought about six thousand copies between us, we thought it was so good.
Well I bought one and he bought five thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine… they were selling them cheap in ASDA.
Yeah I’ve bought your music too… I bought umbrella… well I downloaded it off rapidshare, but… same thing.
Argh! Ow! What’s the matter? Why the emergency stop?
Alright… I
Look.. we
Yes… but
But the music industry….
..brandy snaps…
I would have..
Okay okay… I’m sorry… I’ll never download your music from a disreputable source again. You know… you’re actually quite pretty when you’re angry..
Argh no… YOU’RE PRETTY ALL THE TIME, YOU’RE PRETTY ALL THE TIME, YOU’RE PRETTY ALL THE TIME…please don’t beat me up... no one would believe me.
What?
Oh my cowering in fear is funny is it?
You wana see me watch Alien, I’ll have you in stitches.
No no that’s not an offer I’m not flirting… but… Well I guess I… It could be an offer if y’know, if say you wanted to sometime, not that I’m saying you’d want to of course but the offers there… on the table… so to speak.. as they say… er… c’est la vie
Yeah sorry I’m just talking now for the sake of it now… as you do… when it’s all said and done… at the end of the day… Sooooo you wana come over some time and…
What? Why not?
Better than me?
No obviously you’re not desperate. Hold on what are you saying?
Oh right, yes I see… I didn’t know you and dame Judy spoke.
It was just a miscalculation, oh never mind. Let’s just forget I said anything. We’re here now so lets just pick up your new cabinet.
Oh bugger.
Its raining.
Did you bring an umbrella?
How ironic
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