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| This is Ryan... isnt he pretty. |
Geez! Seriously Ryan. Who puts a gym on the 8th floor? And why did we choose to go on the one day when they’re refurbishing the lifts.
You knew?
Well I suppose so. I guess that means there’ll be more free lockers, no more leaving my clothes on the bench and hoping no one nicks em. I usually put my pants on top as an extra deterrant.
Oh yeah, I always change them... no one wants sweaty pants whilst you’re on the treadmill. Mind you with all these stairs they’re going to be soaked before we even get there.
Yeah sure I’ll hold it a sec.
Argh, bloody hell Ryan, what’s in this?
What? You know they supply weights in there right?
Well everything’s metric nowadays.
Yeah but it’s still the same ruddy weight you know!
Ah finally, I can see the top. my legs feel like they've been borrowed by a breakdancer for the day. We’re just working the upper body today right?
Look I don't get to go to the gym very often so I’m entitled to be knackered.
Well it’s all fine and dandy for you Mr movie star, you have a gym membership to get you used to this sort of thing and a masseuse to relax you when its over and a nutritionist to stop you getting fat.
...what does he do?
No I think you're thinking of a personal trainer...
No no they cast out demons, it’s very different to anything you do in a gym.
I'm pretty sure you mean a personal trainer. wow you were right, it really is quiet. even the changing room is quiet.
Yeah I know what you mean. I'm always afraid other guys will think I'm vain as well, but with no one here we can use the mirror to our hearts content.
Oh obviously. No one ever wants to see the before picture. Let’s get changed with our backs to it for now.
Ryan, whoa man! You’re not supposed to get that naked until you hit the showers. Stop showing off. No one wants to see that.
Well yes... I suppose 8.5 out of 10 of Cosmo readers would disagree... and axm readers I suppose.
Really?.. them too? Its changed a lot since I was a kid, I always thought he was just desperate for cow pie.
Come on, what shall we hit first? Cross trainer? or weights?
Ah but you see I really can't stand running. I hate it with a Passion.
All right then. But I'm just sticking it on a slow speed and walking my way to fitness.
Look you can go for the one minute mile if you want but my treadmill stays firmly at 3 hour yard.
seriously how do you get time to get this fit. I always figured you'd be Buried in work...gettit?
no no its a joke... Buried at work!
sigh... Keira would have got it.
Hey Ryan what are you doing? no no I said I wanted to stay at a steady pace.
aah, what do you mean? pant... what's this got to do with… aaah… your being busy... no no
that's too fast.... whoa! argh! ow
yes yes I get it...very funny, rushed off your feet ha ha. I would be laughing hysterically if I weren't in so much pain.
Alright but no more bad jokes that result in my being incapacitated by gym equipment.
I must warn you I can't really lift much though. I struggle with a weeks worth of Asda carrier bags.
Oh no, no shopping, just the bags.
Well I can't drive and I don't have a wife so that isn't really an option for me.
Really?... well how does she get the shopping home?
Seriously? No wonder you two get into so many superhero movies. I'm beginning to suspect you may actually be superhuman.
what? don't look at me like that. I was joking... oh shit you actually do have superpowers don't you?
sorry, I'll keep it down. go on, lift this... with one hand.
No freakin way! that must've been like 70 stone.
No… I think John candy weighed more, that's more john Goodman. God rest their souls.
Well he may not be, but his career was with the Flintstones.
Ryan...um... can I touch you? I mean, not in a weird way, it’s just that I've never touched a real life superhuman before.
Oh come on its not like I can steal your powers by touching you, that only happens in comic books and movies based on comic books.
Wow its so hard and smooth and ... cold.
Dude... your arms made of metal
Really? Everyone?
What’s keanu made of?
I kind of figured. Evergreen or deciduous?
I see. Well this explains why everyone in Hollywood has perfect abs.
Oh really. Well I never knew you could do that with plasticine.
So what's the point of coming to the gym then?
Really, they hire you? Well I suppose it does give everyone something to aim for.
So going to the gym actually does nothing? Wow I didnt thinks gyms were smart enough to pull off a global conspiracy. Who knew?
Come on then. Let’s stop wasting our time. Let’s go back to the changing room and go check you out in the mirror.
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